


Realisations

by antigrav_vector



Series: CapIM bingo fills - 2016 [14]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, Cap_Ironman Bingo, Hurt No Comfort, Introspection, M/M, Regrets, soul searching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 11:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7220647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antigrav_vector/pseuds/antigrav_vector
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve watches over Tony as Extremis works and comes to a few conclusions he probably should have reached a while ago.</p>
<p>Direct sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/7178948">Error of Judgement</a>. This won't make much sense without reading the prequel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Realisations

**Author's Note:**

> A fill for the 'trouble sleeping' square of my Stony bingo card.
> 
> Dedicated to [navaan](http://archiveofourown.org/users/navaan/pseuds/navaan), in honor of her wedding.
> 
> Unbeta'ed.

It had been almost twelve hours since they'd gotten Tony back, and, Steve winced, he'd gotten his lover so badly injured. The time was creeping up on 0400 hours, and he couldn't sleep. And so here he was, still in Tony's workshop and staring down at the seriously weird and almost lumpy cocoon that Extremis had generated for Tony to heal in.

Based on JARVIS' monitoring of Tony's vitals, it was still working.

Not that that was more than cold comfort considering that it was Steve's fault he was hurt in the first place. If he hadn't been so impatient, if he hadn't recklessly acted without considering Tony. If he'd just let Natasha deal with the goons who'd had a hold of Tony...

But he'd seen red and, honestly, hadn't wanted to hold himself back. Might not have been able to had he wanted to.

In a lot of ways, he'd been extremely lucky that Tony had been working on something like this, Steve reflected. If he'd been forced to wait in a hospital and pace while a group of surgeons tried to piece Tony back together, he wasn't sure he'd have managed to keep a rein on his emotions. Even this was difficult enough.

And if _that_ wasn't a bit of a revelation for him, he didn't know what could be.

He and Tony had reached -- and possibly even surpassed -- the level of emotional entanglement he'd only ever had with Bucky.

Well. Until recently. Until Tony.

Despite their rough start, they'd managed to first find common ground, and it had been enough to let them work together against the Chitauri. It had taken a while, after that, for them to take that common ground and make it more. In large part because of Steve's ingrained caution where it came to his attraction to other men.

His relationship with Peggy might have reached a similar point, given time. But they hadn't had it. He didn't linger on the thought, painful as it still was.

But now, staring at Tony's metamorphosis and torn between the urge to leave -- to run until he collapsed -- and to stay next to Tony every possible moment from here on out, he was coming to the realisation that they were far more to each other than just lovers anymore. More even than boyfriends, or whatever the politically correct term was nowadays.

Even just imagining trying to go on without Tony sent a visceral shudder of pain and horror through him. 

He was well and truly attached now, and if anything happened to take Tony from him, Steve knew would _feel_ it. Probably all the way down to his bones. Just knowing that Tony had been kidnapped had been painful in an almost physical way. Anything more permanent...

Steve forced the thought away. He didn't want to worry over such possibilities right now. No. More importantly, the big question was: did Tony feel the same way about him?

Tony hadn't voiced any complaints, but then, he likely wouldn't. Tony was the type to suffer in silence and assume whatever it was that had happened had been his fault. Steve had seen that happen several times already. Sometimes over tiny seemingly insignificant details, sometimes over enormous catastrophes like the incident not long ago that had involved some weapons Stane had sold illegally and Tony hadn't yet recovered or disposed of.

A catastrophe that really _wasn't_ Tony's fault on any level. But one that he'd still felt responsible for, as the man who'd designed and, albeit indirectly, produced those weapons.

That level of obsessive guilt wasn't healthy, and Steve knew it, but he also knew he wouldn't be able to dissuade Tony from following it or indulging it anytime soon.

That was something that they would have to work on. Probably for years to come.

If Tony was truly in this for the long haul.

Steve hoped so.

He was.


End file.
